Some time ago, my 7 years old nephew came to me, with his cutest smile and blinking his beautiful eyes at me, saying “Cristina, I need you to finish my painting because I am too lazy to do it and you are the most talented in the family”.
I told him that for every finished drawing, I will buy him a candy of his choice, and also, if he will make one painting every week, I will frame all his work and the entire house will become his art gallery.
And today, just guess how my apartment started to look like!
Giving it a thought, I said to myself, this smart kid had a negotiation going with me: his approach was calculated, before coming to me, he obviously investigated who was the right person to help him, his appearance was heart-melting, he paid attention to his speech and went straight to the point with it, AND, made me a compliment.
On the other side of the table, knowing that my nephew has a passion for drawing, my purpose was to encourage his talent and to make him pursue his dreams.
There were risks involved, too: he could have begun being lazy again and not to draw anymore, or I could have sent him to his parents to spend their money on the picture framing, so our pact could have become broken easily. But it didn’t: I made sure I kept a good communication with the kid, showing I am there for him if help was needed, and not to forget about the small candy I gave him from time to time, for him not to forget to keep up the good work.
The conclusion is that, my nephew and I have had a successful negotiation: we both won what we wanted, and the today’s ongoing art gallery wouldn’t have been possible without the trust we built together.
My point is, the negotiations happen everyday and everywhere, whether it’s in the family, or in the hotel industry, and without a solid and real trust between parties, the friendship, or long-term business collaborations cannot survive. Trust is mandatory.
And I believe that strong trustworthy relationships will always start with the wanting: to have a clear perspective of what you want, to make a plan of how to get there, to get involved in the process and to give something in return.
Negotiations are not to be imagined as battle fields or war zones, but as ancient street barter markets, where people trade goods and establish good business relations. The ideal purpose of negotiations is that both parties get what they want and mutually support each other’s businesses.
The businesses involved in the process need each other to succeed; the win is for all the partners, or there is no win at all.
Also, to help build the trust, the negotiator has to stay constantly informed, to ask and get to know the concerns and needs of the company is interested in, to prove willingness to establish a fruitful business relation, to maintain a good communication and show transparency in actions. It has to become very clear for the person in front of he/she, that he/she brings to the negotiation table, competence and good intentions.
And as much as I want to think or dream of a business as of another family of mine, risks make me wake up every time. They will always exist, and that’s why we sign detailed contracts and we constantly update them, but only with perseverance, patience and time, the trust once built, will diminish those risks.
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